If you are in your thirties now, just as I am, then I’m sure you’ve noticed some differences separating this decade from our last. Some are subtle, and it’s hard to even realize when the transition happened, and others seemingly pop up over night, just like that new wrinkle around your lips. Just me? Didn’t think so.
Here are 10 differences between our 20s and our 30s:
1. Beauty Regimen
In our 20s, our beauty ritual at night consisted of brushing our teeth and washing our face with plain ol’ soap and water. In our 30s, it takes longer to get ready for bed than it does in the morning. First, there’s exfoliating with our sonic vibrating brush with crushed diamond cleanser, then patting gently. Apply overnight cream, but not around the eyes; there’s a special cream for that. Don’t forget pore refiner, and then it’s flossing. Try to sleep on your back, dear reader. That way, gravity just might work in your favor and stave off getting some wrinkles.
In our 20s, bras were optional. Those suckers are perky! In our 30s, they’re mandatory. Absolutely, especially if you’ve had kids. I’m just a few droops away from a National Geographic cover. I store my pen on the underside of my boob, and I know it’s not going anywhere. True story.
In our 20s, we contemplated getting bangs, since they’re so cute and trendy. In our 30s, we get bangs to hide all those train track marks covering our forehead!
4. Underwear choices
In our 20s, meeting someone that we connected with was always on the horizon, so we wore lacy thong panties and always shaved our legs. In our 30s, we’re married and in a routine, so granny panties and hairy legs win every time!
In our 20s, if we needed to lose a few pounds, all we had to do was diet for a few days, maybe throw in a work out. In our 30s, we live on romaine lettuce and work out everyday, only to hop on the scale and realize that we’ve GAINED half a pound!
In our 20s, plucking and tweezing was reserved for eyebrows only. In our 30s, it’s “what the FUCK is growing out of my chin?!” and other places where hair should not be seen on a female body. ‘Nuff said.
7. Alcohol Tolerance
In our 20s, a rough night of drinking would lead to calling up some girlfriends to meet for a 1 p.m. brunch and hair of the dog. In our 30s, we encourage the kids to eat cereal for breakfast in front of the TV while mommy drinks black coffee, pops two Advil and swears to never. Drink. Again. Actually, the kids get cereal for lunch too. Possibly dinner, since that’s how long it now takes to recover. And I only had three drinks!
8. Hair Color
In our 20s, coloring our hair was for fun. Sometimes blonde highlights, maybe totally red hair, honey-colored streaks à la J Lo, let’s experiment! In our 30s, we brush our hair, notice some greys and book an appointment ASAP. Our colorist is on speed dial.
It’s not all negative, though. Growing older also means growing wiser, and with it some very awesome perks.
9. Cleaning Habits
In our 20s, we vacuumed, washed the floors and even scrubbed the toilets. In our 30s, we have a cleaning lady. Twice a month. Bliss.
In our 20s, sex was fun, but consumed with thoughts of “does he notice how jiggly my butt looks from back there, where he’s standing?” In our 30s, we know our body, what we like and aren’t ashamed to get it. It sure helps that during labor, about six different people had their faces right up to me, fingers slimy with vaseline, stretching me out, telling me to get ready to push. After that, I wasn’t modest anymore.
BONUS: Actually, in our 20s, we care what others think of us, from the girl on the treadmill next to us at the gym to our *gasp* parents. In our 30s, we realize that we only care what our kids think of us, and even then we know that it’s true love. Sticky, messy, huggable true love.
While I miss being asked to show ID when buying alcohol, or the dewy, soft skin of yore, I think the worn-in look and feel suits me much better, just like a pair of favorite jeans. Just not skinny ones. Hips also like to grow in our 30s. Just me? Didn’t think so.