10 THINGS NOBODY TOLD ME MAY HAPPEN WHEN I HAD A BABY

by Stephanie Blum

1.  Nobody told me that I would be so tired that I would sometimes hallucinate

10 Things No One Told Me About Having a Baby

2.  Nobody told me that I would sometimes hate my kids and my husband…not necessarily in that order.  And not all day, either.

3.  Nobody told me that I would never be able to finish a thought or a conversation.

10 Things No One Told Me About Having a Baby

 

4.  Nobody told me when I passed an airport that I would fantasize about getting on a plane. I would come back…maybe.

 

5.  Nobody told me that I would not take a shower for days and not care if I offended others with my stench.
10 Things No One Told Me About Having a Baby

 

 

6.  Nobody told me that rough sex would mean not shaving my legs.

 

7.  Nobody told me it would take 6 days to watch a 2 hour movie because my baby needs me. Babies are so selfish.

8.  Nobody told me I would never be able to find a shirt that did not have some sort of questionable stain on it.
10 Things No One Told Me About Having a Baby

 

9.  Nobody told me I would be so excited to go to the supermarket by myself.  By the way, apples are beautiful.

 

10.  Nobody told me to be naked as often as possible before having a baby… body parts will never look the same.

 

 

How about you?  What surprised you about becoming a mom?

 

 

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