20 Ways You Know You’re a Mom (as if you needed ’em!)

You know you are a mom if:

1.  You’ve used spit to clean something.  Most often it’s a kid’s cheek.
Saliva Cleaning

2.  You’ve gone longer than two days without taking a shower, and been okay with it.
Superstar (1999) Trailer (Molly Shannon, Will Ferrell and Elaine Hendrix)


3.  Used the kids as an excuse to get out of a social function.
Mom So Tired - Alicia Keys


4.  Used the kids as an excuse to get out of sex with your spouse.
Kid catches parents having sex!

5.  Spent so much time at the pediatrician’s office that you’ve made friends with the front desk staff.
The Waiting Room (2012)

6.  Worn dirty clothes taken from the hamper.
Running Late for School: 3 Comfy & Cute Outfits!

7.  Worn dirty clothes.  Full stop.  
Detroit the Dog is a walking pile of dirty clothes

8.  Gone to the bank/grocery store/Target in yoga pants, and didn’t think twice about it.


9.  Your hairstyle hasn’t changed since #1 popped out.  
90's hairstyles - 9 different looks


10.  You’ve gotten into an argument with someone over breastfeeding/bottle feeding/cloth diapers/working or staying at home/organic/non GMO and not given a shit what the other person thought about you afterwards.  

Dance Mom Kelly hits Abby Lee Miller - Dance moms season 4

11.  If you’ve said, after a really hard afternoon with the kids, “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere” and poured yourself a glass of vino.

The Mother-Daughter Tequila Taste Test


12.  You can’t remember the last time you replaced  your razor since you shave your legs so infrequently.
woman with hairy legs walking in public places


13.  Cleaned out your purse and found a diaper, old lipstick, crumbled up goldfish crackers, a pacifier, dried up wipes, and toy cars.  

Walt Disney -  In The Bag - 1956


14.  You have used the phrase, “Because I said so.”
Because I Said So!


15.  You have used the phrase, “I’m going to give you three seconds.  One…….Two…….Two and a half……”
Home Alone - Angels With Filthy Souls (only the clip)


16.  You’ve snuck into your kids rooms at night to watch them sleep.
Kids sleeping


17.  Thought to yourself, “They’re so perfect!” while doing #16
2 Angels Flying in the Sky in Brazil Caught on Cam


18.  Eaten the leftovers off your kids plate without a second thought.

The Pie-Eating Contest - Stand by Me (3/8) Movie CLIP (1986) HD


19.  Had a conversation with a friend while saying to your kids, “It’s not polite to interrupt.” or “Let Mommy finish first, sweetie.” 


20.  Yelled at your kids, then felt so guilty that you went into your closet to cry.  In there, you found the box of chocolates you hid, so that no one else would eat them, and scarfed down five pieces.  

Caught Red Handed!


What else do you think unites us as moms?   Tell me in the comments!