
How many times have you gone to a kid’s birthday party and gotten a mass email as a thank you? It seems like this is norm lately, and it’s bothersome. If a parent bought your child a present, threw it into a five dollar gift bag with tissue paper, and then endured screaming kids for two hours on a sugar high at the indoor bouncy place, can’t they expect, at the very least, a personal thank you?
We all have busy lives, but our lazy behavior in showing gratitude or appreciation shouldn’t be slipping so fast down this text and email slope.
Here are five ways we can still have manners in a world of technology and instant gratification:
1. Never Show Up Empty Handed
A mom from school invited your family over for dinner, and while you know she’s just going to order-in pizza and salad, don’t let that fool you. Guaranteed, she shoved about a week’s worth of laundry and a basket full of toys into the hall closet, and threw all the backpacks and smelly shoes on top of it. She probably ran to the store to get those baby carrots and hummus too. The point is, she tried to make it look like she has actually got a clean house under all the legos, dirty clothes, notes from school and bills that are scattered all over the place. Depending on your budget, you can bring flowers or wine. An orchid is always a crowd pleaser and will cost you about twenty dollars, and you can get one from the floral section of your grocery on the way over! If you bring a bouquet, get one with a vase. It’s a nice touch and doesn’t send them off to look for one, and eliminates the need to cut the stems too. If your budget doesn’t permit store bought goods, consider bringing homemade cookies wrapped in parchment paper and secured with twine. The thought of baking might sound daunting, but after the first couple of times, it will be like you’ve been doing it your whole life and it you’ll wonder why you only started now!
2. Always Write a Thank You Note
Generic or blank thank you cards are very affordable and it’s quite easy to find a type that suits your personality or mood (target.com has 50 cards for $9.99)! It’s so tempting to just plop down on the couch and write a quick thank you email while you’re catching up on the latest episode of your favorite show, but while you’re relaxing, your hostess/host are probably still cleaning up or putting the kids to bed and then cleaning up. It takes about five minutes to write a quick and thoughtful note, address and stamp it.
The same approach goes for someone that’s given a gift. The only exception is if it’s a hostess gift. But if someone has gifted your family or child a present, set aside the time to write them a card. Teach your kids to write thank you notes for themselves. We spend all this time reading articles on how to not raise entitled kids, well, this is a good start.
3. Leave Your Phone at the Door
Be present with your present company. How can we honestly connect with each other when we’re constantly interrupting our interactions with, “hang on, I’ve got a call” or “let me just reply to this text.” Remember when we were kids and our parents said no phone calls during dinner? Let’s make that a rule that we keep. The only exception should be for babysitters, spouse or emergencies.
4. Offer to Help Clean Up
Even if you don’t really mean it, the gesture goes a long way. Besides, clearing dishes into the kitchen or tossing toys into a basket might not seem like a big deal to you, but to the hostess/host, it’s a few items crossed off the to do list.
5. Reciprocate The Invitation
Always the bridesmaid and never the bride…It can get frustrating for your friends if they always have you over but never get an invitation to your place in return. Even if you have to be the one that just throws everything in the hall closet and orders pizza and salad, it’s the thought that counts, and everyone loves to be thought of. Besides, when was the last time someone brought you flowers?

A good set of manners get you a long way, is one of our rules in the house. I think it’s so important to have them! I’m very curious towards Canada now though, when we went on holiday in the US we thought people were incredible friendly and polite compared to the UK. Perhaps it’s because we live near London and everyone is always rushed.. Anyway yes, love manners but no addition atm 🙂
Americans were more polite than Brits?! That is literally the first time I’ve ever heard that! WOW!!!!
I have gotten SO bad with thank you notes.. I need to work on that, esp to set an example for my kids. Great post!
Thanks, Lauren! I’ll have some helpful tips tomorrow, too!
In this digital age, I created email addresses for my kids. I send gift givers a thank you note from the kids’ email address with a picture of them opening up the gift or a picture with the specific gift giver at the party. I love the idea of snail mail, but it takes longer for me to purchase pictures, cards, and stamps, than to send a quick email.
That is a fantastic idea!!! I have a follow up post tomorrow that you may like, on how to use technology to help!
Thanks for commenting, Romina!
I always, always bring something. I hate when people don’t–especially at potlucks. It is so rude! Sharing this.
THANK YOU!
And it’s my pet peeve, too. I have a follow up post tomorrow that you may like as well!!
These tips are fabulous! You have such a great way of stating niceties! I wish most people were this courteous.
Thank you so much, Megan! Maybe that’s my Canadian side coming out 🙂
This is really excellent. Kind of sad we have to be reminded of this stuff these days, but it’s the way of the world. I have to admit I’m not always the best with these but it is so important and a little goes a long way. Thanks for the reminder!
I’ll have a follow up post tomorrow on how to use tech to your advantage…especially when you have so little time!!!
I can think of a couple of piles of paper and dirty clothes I would be throwing in the closet if I had company. Seriously, these are great tips.
The only problem is that I end up forgetting about them…and having a mountain of work every spring! 🙂 thanks for commenting, Melissa!!
All great tips and reminders to all. It sure is a different world, but should remember our manners. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you, Robin!! I’m happy you visited!
I do not thing is a Canadian thing… unless it extends down to Mexico too. Down there we don’t write as many Thank you notes (the postal service is unbearably bad), but you always call or write a message or email to thank people for coming to your place, for inviting you somewhere, and specially for gifts. And I soooo agree with the leaving the phone at the door!
Maybe it’s just something that skipped over L.A. then?! 😉 When I lived in the Bay Area, it was *almost* like home.
Manners and etiquette seem to have flown out the window in today’s world. It absolutely amazes me. Thank you for these awesome reminders. Please come share your blog posts over at the Home Matters Linky Party! We’d love to have you for a visit. The Door is OPEN. http://lifewithlorelai.com/2015/03/05/home-matters-linky-party-27/ 🙂
~Lorelai
Life With Lorelai
Thank you, Lorelai!
I’d love to your link party, but since I’ve only done one before, may need a little guidance!
whooops, I’m too late!
Great ideas! The phone “thing” has certainly gotten out of hand. Even though I’m guilty of it when I go to a restaurant with my husband, it’s so sad to see people on their phones when they’re at a table with others. OK. I’ll try to stop doing that!!
I admit that I have a hard time not checking, so I take my phone to the restroom when we’re on date nights! I peak for a minute, and then put it back in my purse.
Great list! It’s so easy with everything online these days and everyone on a device to remember to slow down and give people personal attention. Manners still matter. Great post!
Thanks, Meredith! I think a little manners can go a long way!
Ughh my biggest pet peeve are people on the phone when they come meet up with you! I can’t stand it, at least excuse yourself and take the call or message.
I never answer my phone when I’m with someone…which in turn leads people to say, “How come you never answer my calls?!” I’m old fashioned that way, I guess!
Yes, yes, yes! Some many manners have fallen to the wayside because of technology. I like old fashioned ways for some things such as writing letters, mailing cards and thank you notes, and other manners you have listed here.
Thank you for your tips! I will most definitely share with others!
I found your post at Inspire Me Mondays!
Thank you so much, Brandi! I think I’ll always be old fashioned, too!
Your post is one of my two favorite posts from this week’s linkup at Inspire Me Mondays. I will have this post pinned to our group board Inspire Me Mondays at http://www.Pinterest.com/beingfibromom
Please come check out your post and link up more posts at next week’s linkup at Being Fibro Mom – http://www.beingfibromom.com
See you next week!
Thank you, Brandi! This is the first time I’ve ever really done a link up!!!!
Hi,
Thank you for coming to the Inspire Me Monday Linky Party on Monday. I’m Janice, from Reflections, one of your hostesses.
I have trouble with the “parking the phone” one. Hey I’m a blogger now. I might get a comment! =)
I obsess with my phone, too! It’s the hardest one for me!
I’ll be hopping into your link party for this week, too! Thanks, Janice. I love your site and all the helpful info!