Things I Wish I Could Tell My Kids, But Won’t
I’ve been a mom for about 6.5 years now, to three kids, and I’ve found myself biting my tongue on certain things. I don’t always have a brain-to-mouth filter, so I’m glad I know better than to say the following things out loud. But I wish my kids knew them, nonetheless. This is certainly not a conversation about erectile dysfunction and the problems described on such sites. Here are 6 things I wish I could tell my kids, but will wait until they’re grown to say them:
1. I will always love you, but I won’t always like you. Now, as young kids, you do things that are patience-trying and if a friend did the same thing, I’d tell them off. “I hate this dinner, and I’m never eating it!” comes to mind. But you are my kids, and I love you, so I don’t. I imagine this feeling will intensify when you’re teenagers.
2. Some days, I don’t do my best. And I’m okay with that. I don’t always need to have a meal from scratch on the dinner table, and I think it’s fine that I didn’t do the laundry and now you’re sleeping in your school clothes. If I pretended to give it my all every day, I’d be setting you guys up for failure.
3. I don’t want you to please me. I want you to find yourself, even if that means bending my, and your father’s, rules a bit. But this doesn’t include when you choose your spouse. That is definitely a time when I’ll want you to please me. Especially you, sons.
4. The world isn’t black and white. I know that we are teaching you right from wrong, left from right, up from down, etc. I 
just don’t want you to think it works like this in every aspect: love vs hate, acceptance vs denial, etc. There really are so many shades of grey (no, not Mommy’s favorite book trilogy).
5. I don’t always like your Dad, but I’ll always love him. Just like I love you guys, your Dad has a very special place in my heart. When you see us kiss good-bye every morning, even when we’re mad at each other, I hope you guys know that you will always have parents that respect each other, no matter what. Even when we’re arguing over whose turn it is to change the poopy diaper…much like what I imagine our senior years will sound like.
6. I’m scared. I am scared all the time: Am I doing it right? Is this the right school/after school program? Did I give you too much punishment? Not enough? Is this something you are going to talk about with your future therapist? I love you guys so much, and I want to do the best for you, at every opportunity. I wish life came with a crystal ball.
Is there anything that you want your kids to know, but won’t tell them until they’re adults? What are they?
I think my mom has actually told me #1 a few times in life
Would you say it to your daughter?
#3 and #4! I want them to find themselves and learn how to be independent. I also want them to know there are different viewpoints people can have and sometimes there’s not a right or wrong answer-there are just many different ways to get to where you’re going.
Yes!! I should add that! So true. Thanks, Tarynn!
Oh, I love this! I love number 3. Seriously, our boys better pick good women. I don’t need a cat fight in my old age 🙂
haha! I’m so scared they’ll pick b*tches! 😉
love them all, I think parenthood is always slighty scary, it’s a very responsibility.
#5 is very important to us
Always, right?! Thanks, Veronique!!!
Totally can relate to all but especially #1 & #2.
I say that I’ll tell them when they’re grown, but I doubt I will… I’d be heartbroken to hear that from my parents!
I can definitely relate to these, but I rarely hear people talk about #2. It’s true. Some days, I just do not do my best. And when I think about it, I truly think that if I did try to do everything perfectly everyday, there would be nothing left of me. Great post.
Thank you, Tessa! I agree: we’d be shells of our former selves!
#2, but definitely #4!! Especially with my daughter. I want her to know how much a mutual loving and respectful relationship is so important. And to never settle for someone who would give them any less than they’d give themself. I want our kids to see how much mommy and daddy love each other every day.. and strive for that in their own lives. I worry so much about my daughter’s future relationships lol
I do, too! All the time!
Thanks for commenting, Trisha!