by Morgan Carver Richards
There it is. You see the posts in your news feed, or you have someone tell you that you are doing it wrong. But you’re not doing it wrong (unless you are a raging drug addict or are negligent to you child’s needs). Here are a few common themes that people like to use to tell you that you are doing it wrong — and the reasons that you are not.
When your kids are old enough for school, the decisions you have to make can seem intimidating. You can go with a public school, a private school, a charter school, or homeschooling. Some people choose to keep their child at home an extra year before starting. The only thing that you can be certain about is that someone will disagree with what you choose. Just remember that you are right, not your friend Susan or your nosy aunt. Definitely not your overbearing mother. You know what is best for your child and regardless of what stigma the person is using to tell you that you made the wrong decision (homeschooled kids are loners, public school doesn’t provide a good education, etc.) you took the time to weigh your options. Your little Jimmy is not Susan’s little Maddie, so Susan needs to butt out.
This one is a fun one. Any way you choose to keep your kids in line is wrong in someone else’s eyes. “You need to spank that child.” “You need to be more calm with that child.” Having three kids has taught me that each child requires a different discipline method. What works with one will not work with another. And trust me, I have tried it. So when someone chimes in to tell you what you need to do, remind them it is a personal family matter and should be treated as such. Thank you, and bye Susan (whoever Susan is, she seems to be rather nosy).
3. ROUTINES AND SCHEDULES
I have one child who blossoms in chaos, one who requires no less than three hours of quiet time per day, and one who is happy to go along with anything you throw her way. I know their limits, and when I know one is reaching their limit, I call it. I also know when I can add more to their plate, or allow them to stay up too late. Different cultures do different things in terms of routines and schedules with children. I have tried all of the methods I have seen living in Dubai and adopted my own melting pot that works for my family.
The next time someone questions why your child has so many activities, a lack of activities, or why they stay up so late, remind yourself that they couldn’t do what you do. Nobody can, you are the only mom your kids have. Ensuring that your children grow and learn –whatever method you use — is more important than caring what Ole’ Nosy Susan thinks.