by Jamee Tenzer

As a working mother who has mastered the art of stressing herself out, I can tell you that there is an art to it.  Staying relaxed and peaceful is much easier, but why do that?  After all, stress will shorten your lifespan, cause grey hair and illness, and make Botox treatments seem like a good idea.  Bring it on!

I know, I know.  You naysayers out there are lauding the benefits of letting go of stress.  Something about how “you only live Add text-3once” and “must stop to smell the roses.”  And all that hooey about being “present!”  Honestly!  Presence is for sissies, people.  Who’s with me on this one?

Let’s get stressed!

Step by Step Guide to Stressful Living:

1.  Worry

Worry about everything!  The more you can worry about, the better, especially if you have no control in the matter.

2.  Try To Make Everyone Happy

What I love about this one is that it never ever works.  Guaranteed stress.

3.  Have Unrealistic Expectations of Yourself

You will see awesome results with this one because you can stress over meeting the expectations and then stress out over having not met the expectations too.  That’s a two-for-one!

4.  Stop Listening To What Your Body Is Telling You

If you feel like you need rest or you might be coming down with something, ignore it.  Push on.  Do more.  You’ll rest when you’re dead.

5.  Care About What Others Think of You

Okay, this is my favorite because it dovetails nicely with #1: Worry.  This one will truly make you nuts.  First you will spend a lot of time trying to figure out what people think.   And then once you think you know, you will spend energy worrying about it.

What do you think?  Can I count on you to amp-up the stress and decrease the fun?

Do I sense dissension in the ranks?

I see I have more work to do here.

Alright then, it is your choice of course.  But if you ever feel the need to ride the stress train to the anxiety attack station, just follow my simple steps on how to stress out.  They are guaranteed!