Morning Success: I Do Them Wrong
by Mandy Waysman
I am not what you would call a morning person. I have tried to do better, because I have kids, and I have to try to set an example. However, every morning pretty much ends in an “every man for himself” mad rush to the car. Here are a couple of examples of how our mornings go:
The oldest holds us up
Often times when I can’t get my oldest daughter, age 3, up, I turn the Chipmunk-a-Chunk little sister loose on her. Except I pretend it’s an “accident” that she got away from me. I don’t really know who I do the acting for, because the oldest is supposedly sleeping and the baby doesn’t understand (but I have to practice my craft or I will lose it, I suppose). I stand there and go “Oh shoot, Nina you are tooo fast! Darn your short, but incredibly stealthy legs! How did you get away? Whatever you do, don’t go get Sophie!” *Said while pointing emphatically towards Sophie’s room and winking.
My baby girl takes the hint, and sets off in her footie pajamas and Mohawk hair to go get the job done. Then when Sophie cries out, “Nina is getting me!” I rush in and “save Sophie” from that stinker Nina (don’t know where she gets off waking people up).
I will be sad when I can no longer use Nina’s super powers without being found out. I’m going to look like a jerk attempting the techniques that I’ve seen Nina apply: manually opening eyelids, licking her nose, and grabbing her blanket while bolting for the door.
The youngest makes us late
So there we are, getting ready to go to daycare and Nina, 18 months, won’t get her clothes on. She has decided that shoes come first; and not only that, but there might not even be a necessity for clothes. It is difficult to argue with her on this. “I’m the mom! Listen to your mom,” is all I come up with to persuade her.
Nina’s counterpoint is “MMMkay,” and then toddles away (Ah-ha! Daddy’s debate style-well played, but I’ve seen this and I can beat it).
I finally held her blanket hostage to get her to come back (hey, you would do it too). While we commenced the battle of wills or “getting dressed,” I gave her the run down on decency in public and a little something called R-E-S-P-E-C-T (find out what it means to me).
You are right, the talk we had about respect really was just me singing the song to her. I feel like it was a punishment as well as a lesson, ya know? We are now all on the same page and I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be quite easy.
Over the years there have been many variations on this formula, but the constant is mass confusion and chaos in mornings. I wish you the best in your morning endeavors for success. Please feel free to drop me hints below.