Self Esteem is the Key to Success…
…And the Way to Avoid Dating Douche Bags
by Diana Davis
I had hoped that my child would be good at math. You know, because we need someone in this family who can calculate a tip without taking their socks off. Alas, that dream is dead. I’m not one to brag (unless it’s about my perfectly arched eyebrows) but my baby is in fact, an artistic genius.
Don’t believe me? Check it out:
Amazing right!? Here’s a closer look:
See it? Yup! My 9-month old did that (actually, at the time she was 8-months old—even more impressive).
Be honest. Did you think she drew the chicken? I did. How could I not? My husband handed me this paper and said, “Look what Alex drew in daycare today.” I almost fell over. Then he told me to squint and he tilted the paper into the light until the faint yellow scribbles popped out at me.
I picked her up and gave her a big kiss to which she replied with a loud, “ACK!” and tried to eat the paper.
It took me a few minutes to pry it out of her drool-drenched grip but I finally won and proudly displayed her artwork on our refrigerator. Not just because she’s my kid and even her poop impresses me (how can such a tiny person do that!?) but also because I know that in time it will do all of this and more for her:
1. It will remind her to never take herself too seriously—even when she’s almost 40 and a 12 year-old points out a gray hair…on her chin!
2. It will teach her to identify a douchebag no matter how many times he texts her the smiley face Emoji with the heart-shaped eyes.
3. It will encourage her to be fearless (unless it’s a spider, then it’s ok to run!).
4. It will help her stand up to peer pressure even when her friends try to convince her that drinking vodka will “make her boobs bigger.” Sidenote: It won’t. Trust me.
5. It will encourage her to fight for what she believes in, always do the right thing and never let ’em see her sweat… (hm, that last part might be from a deodorant commercial. But still good advice.)
So how do I know that a simple drawing of a chicken will do all that? Because I’ve read enough Deepak Chopra quotes on Instagram to know that good self-esteem is the key to success (and your own line of self-help books). And to me, it all starts the moment your baby scribbles a few barely visible yellow lines on a pencil drawing of a chicken. So as far as I’m concerned, she’s a creative genius. Unless, of course, those scribbles are in permanent marker on my freshly painted walls—then she’s just a jerk.
Did you also think she drew the chicken? Do you ever read the Chopra quotes? Tell me in the comments!
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Hahaha, I love reading all of your posts! Yours is easily one of my favorite blogs to read. But anywho, this is really a great post on self-esteem. It is so important to teach our children.
So glad you love the site! I’m lucky to have so many talented writers!
Love this post! You had me convinced that she drew it at first!! hehe!! <3 Christine, The Choosy Mommy, http://www.choosykids.blogspot.com
ditto!
Awww what a little cutie pie.
For that break in a child’s life when nothing she learned as a child is panning out.
I asked myself all times okay who are you and what you done with my angel aka child?
I suggest a Rapunzel do-over until she once more comes back to her senses!
If she starts yelling “I hate you”!!! Just turn on the blender.
I totally thought she drew the chicken. And I was feeling very, very inadequate! 😉
me too!! That’s what drew me to this piece! lol
I love reading these comments and I’m so happy that I’m not the only one who thought she drew the picture. I had to take the closeup photo for this post a bunch of times because I couldn’t get the light to hit it so the lines showed up. They are really so, so faint. Thanks reading it and thanks to MrsMuffinTop for posting. 🙂