“That’s IT!  If you ______ one more time, you’re going straight to TIME OUT!  This is your last warning!”  If I had a penny for every time I had to say this in my house, I’d be able to buy a vintage Chanel purse.  Sure enough, less than five minutes later: “I just told you that it’s not ok to do that!”  So guess what I did.  I put myself in time out.  Yes, me.  I put on an educational ANY TV show, and went to my closet.  It’s the only place in my house that the kids don’t think to look for me.

I hate that I’m a yeller.  For some reason, they won’t listen to me any other way.  I’ve read so many parenting books on how to effectively communicate, discipline, etc and at the end of the day, the only way they stop fighting/whining/breaking shit is if I raise my voice.  It’s almost as if I use the ‘modern’ parenting approach, they think they’re still in control and totally.  ignore.  me.  Actually, time outs in my house are totally useless unless it’s Mom (me) going into them.

Looking back, my self imposed time outs started out as extra long bathroom breaks with my iphone.  I’d read TMZ, E!, Facebook or anything that would give me a few extra moments of silence and a respite from my mom role.  But they started following me in there.  Not just the kids.  The dogs, and my husband too!  I knew I needed a panic room to keep them out, and hence the closet hiding place was born.  I even keep a pillow in there for those extra hard days.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a daily occurrence.  Fuck, even if it was, I think it’d be ok.  But sometimes it’s just too much.  I’m a stay at home mom, which means MrMuffinTop is out of the house working, at least 55 hours a week.  The kids aren’t in school full time yet, so that leaves me with many hours alone with the tazmanian devils.  Seriously.  They are fast, messy and talk so fast I can hardly understand them!

How do you deal with the days/moments/weeks that seem like they go on forever and there’s no other outlet?photo-1