Annoying things Non-Parents Say to Parents
A friend recently asked me what the hardest transition was when I became a mom. I didn’t have an answer, because they were all hard. Everything literally changed. No stone was left unturned. The woman who asked me is, of course, pregnant with her first. I remember being in her shoes, and it wouldn’t have mattered if I gave it to her straight…she wouldn’t have believed me. Because before you have kids, you just don’t have any idea how upside down your life gets turned, and how different it will forevermore be. It wasn’t that long ago, before she got pregnant, that I made note of the comments she made and now I get the pleasure of throwing them back in her face sharing them with you. Here are the top five annoying things people without kids say to people with kids:
5. I know exactly what you mean, I have a puppy. No, I’m sorry, you didn’t just compare a baby to a puppy, did you?!
4. *Yawn* I am SO tired. Right. You’re so tired. How many times did the baby wake you up last night? Did your dog yak on the bedroom carpet at 1am too (yeah, in addition to my kids, I, too, have a dog)? Did your oldest wake up at 3 am because he “heard a monster” under the bed? Hmph. Tired. Go back to your full night’s sleep in your big bed without a toddler kicking you in the face 10 times in the one hour of solid sleep that you’re actually getting.
3. I am so busy, I have no free time. Honey, just wait until you have kids. Then you’ll wonder what you did with alllllllllll that free time.
2. I’m totally broke, I went to three weddings in the last few months. Ha! In preschool, when kids are placed in classes by birthdays, you will have a party every. Single. Weekend. For two months straight. Let’s not even talk about how a sitter is sometimes needed, since “Siblings Cannot Be Accommodated.”
and, the Number 1 annoying thing people without kids say to people with kids is:
1. When I have kids, I’ll never let them (Fill in the Blank). What, eat sugar? Watch TV? Talk to you like that? Mmhmm. Remember, I once stood exactly where you are standing. And you will definitely let them (fill in the blank).
What have you heard from your friends without kids? Let me know in the comments!
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I couldn’t agree with all of these more!! The free time, the sleep, oh how it’s all a distant memory now. They have no idea.
Right?!?!?
Thank you for reading the post!
Too funny. I think I have heard all 5. I also get the added benefit of they telling me they are on a diet too when I tell them my oldest has celiac. Umm he isn’t on a diet! Gluten free is his prescription.
Megan, I LOVE that!!! a diet, lol!!! Thank you for giving me a good belly laugh!!!!!
Haha!! One of my biggest pet peeves is when people compare having kids to pets. Not the same. Not even a little. Great list!!
Thank you, and thanks for taking the time to read it! I’m so happy that you enjoyed it!
I almost mixed words with my ex when he told me that he wasn’t getting enough sleep. Umm, no. I have a one year old at home, don’t get me started about lack of sleep.
I hate that too!!! Was that why you broke up with him? 😉
If I think about it, I had so much free time before I had kids. I have four animals so someone is always yaking on the floor in the middle of the night.
ha! It’s funny how perception changes! Thanks for stopping by!
Ha! I love all of these! You are so right about it all! If they only knew. It’s totally worth it but a lot of work.
🙂 Thank you for stopping in, Jennifer! I’m glad I got you to laugh!!
Wow – this is the best ting I’ve read all week! So hilarious and so true!!! Especially #1 and #5 – those are my faves. Actually, my kid is not “right up there” with your dog. It’s crazy the thigs people will say!!! Thank you!
Thanks, Regan! I’m so glad you enjoyed it! And I’m glad you could relate, too!!!!! xo
This list made me laugh out loud! It is so true!! I used to be one of those people with the dog that was like they are not so different, HA! Yes they are! Awesome post!
🙂 Thank you Kristin!! I’m so glad you related and enjoyed it!
#2 is my pet peeve!!!! It makes me crazy! You hit the nail on the head with these.
🙂 I’m so glad you liked it! Thank you for reading it!
I love when people tell me how badly they need a vacation….they get to go to the bathroom by themselves…isn’t that vacation enough?!?
I laughed SO HARD at this comment!!!!!!! So true!!!!!!!!! lolololol
I do remember when my husband and I would go out for a casual lunch before our boys ( such a rarity these days). We would comment on the behaviour of other children and the fact they seemed to get away with it. We always said that we would never let our child behave that way…ha! what little did we know! They do it anyway!
I have a childless twin sister and she would prefer to have a hoard of animals then children as they are better behaved…her comment is at least I can put them in a cage and walk away.
Stephanie, I think your sister is amazing! That’s hilarious!!!!!!
Oh, I remember casual lunches! Now it takes hours to prep, since we need a sitter, finding time to actually get ready, and still prepare food for the kids!!
Think ya’ll need to stop complaining and be greatful for the life you chose. Just because you have kids doesn’t mean people without kids aren’t busy, don’t get sleep, and being woken up at 2 am by a dog IS the same. Be happy at 2 am you don’t have to take your baby out for a walk in snow or rain. Good for you, you’re a mom! That’s your job! To raise your kids the best if not better than you can. No, I don’t have children yet, yes I am tired, I don’t get sleep, sometimes I don’t have free time. It’s the life you chose. Also, yes, when I have children, I won’t let them (blank) because I’m not a push over. I think most of you who complain about what people without children say, you don’t have full time jobs, and probably never will.
Oh, Kelly…thank you for the much needed laugh, and proof that I wrote the truth. I will be here for you when/if you become a mom! xoxoxo!!!
Just a reminder (and maybe a gentle push to re read the first paragraph), I used to be a woman without kids! But now, I have kids. I know what it’s like to be both. So perhaps, instead of attacking me, you could, I dunno, maybe learn something from me?!?!?!?!?!?!?
case in point kelly. Not trying to start another war here but I am a mom of 3 and I have a full time job as the primary breadwinner of my family. When you do have children you will look back at this comment and laugh at your naïveté.
PREACH, sistah! lol. If she ever has kids, she can come to us, and we’ll pass her tissues when she’s crying from sleep deprivation!
I’m sorry, but these comments aside it was your decision to have kids in the first place. Sorry people without kids have other complaints. Just because they don’t have kids doesn’t mean they don’t need vacations or they don’t need more sleep.
Sarah, you’re forgetting that BEFORE I HAD KIDS, I was….childless…so I’ve seen both sides of the fence. But hey! Thanks for stopping in!
Kelly and sarah,
You do have a point, yes we choose to be moms, but what we didn’t choose is the hardship that came alone with it!! You also choose to remain childless for the time being and you don’t know what it is like to be a mom, unless you become one. this post is just addressing shit people say who have no clue what life is like with kids. HAve a chuckle and remember we will be here to support you one day.
Thanks, Shey!! We’ve been on BOTH sides, so we know! Yup, we’ll all be there for the new moms!!!
Non parents say some of the craziest things. I’m sure I did too before I had kids though. Comparing a puppy or any animal for that matter to kids is one of my biggest pet peeves. LOL
Yes, I am positive that I said some of these things, too!!
so funny ..especially the “never let kids eat sugar touch breakable and all that stuff ..I said even to myself. I want a tshirt . “I’m sorry to all fir all the ridiculous comments I made before I had kids
I’m a mom to four, working full time and attending university on weekends…. when people tell me they are tired I want to smack them upside the head. You want to see tired? When was the last time you refreshed the dryer for the millionth time because your have a paper due tomorrow and your just getting started?!?
I love the when I have kids I’ll never let them whatever one. All my friends said that to me before the had kids (I had my son young) and now they all let them do it. It makes me laugh.
Haha too funny! I had kids later in life, so I would always say things like this to my sisters! Now they tease ME!! Gah!
So funny! Recently someone started critisicing me for choosing to read a baby book over a marriage book (which wasn’t true anyway, I was reading both, I just chose to read the baby book at that time). They went on this whole tirade about how I have to put my marriage first and not to lose myself in the idenity of mom, etc. This woman is not a wife or a mother, so I have no idea who she thought she was giving me advice! Drives me insane. It’s like, okay, I’ll put my marriage first when you want to pay to have my house cleaned and for the baby sitter! Ridiculous!
Funny article! The only comment that really bothers me from mothers is when they say ‘just wait until you have kids’ my hubby and I have been TTC for about 2 years now & it really upsets me & makes me feel like my life is currently meaningless.
I had to laugh at these. Attacking you? People without kids don’t go around writing articles about how annoying you’ve become since CHOOSING to have children. And if we did, our list would go something like this.. 1. How selfish you’ve become as a friend. Yep, all we ever hear about now is your kids. God forbid you ask us how things in our life are going too. Oh, and if on the rare chance you do feign interest.. you compare our responses to your kids (hence the article)! 2. You completely lose your identity and only exist now as a mother. Maybe that’s why we compare things like our dogs to your kids, we’re trying to find something, anything, in common anymore. Did you ever consider that? No, probably not. 3. Every woman without kids knows having them completely changes your life- no sleep, endless worrying, no time for yourself, etc. So why didn’t you? Now that you have them, its a big surprise. You signed up for that when you chose to have a child. Maybe that’s why we don’t, we’re not ready for that. 4. You had them, we have to deal with them. Yep I said it. We have to deal with your kids running around like little chickens with their heads cut off, screaming, crying, all while leaving a path of destruction in their wake. And we do it, silently. Why? Because we care enough about you to put up with your new 2 for 1 special. 5. You may have once existed without kids, but you sure as sh*t don’t remember it. You know both sides? Because this active seemed pretty one sided to me. But there you have it, the other side.
The most annoying think I have heard from my friends without kids is you should go out more. Seriously, I am exhausted at the end of the day. I am raising 4 sons, 2 with autism and the last thing I want to do after a day of running around and trying to keep it together is get dressed and go out.
Haha, yes! To think of all the free time I used to have.
The first one is way too true! It is definitely not like having a puppy and when I hear that I always stare at the person for a few extra seconds.
Hahaha! Yep, definitely heard the “sooo busy” and “sooo tired” ones. I like the one where they know all about kids from their vast babysitting experience. Still not the same, at all.
This was soooooo true! Life totally changes when you become a parent but unless you’re a parent you really don’t understand. Thanks for this big smile and totally agree: having a puppy is definitely not the same as having a baby!
This is bang on. You took the words right out of my mouth, all of it. I’ll also add something about all the “free time” we have, we keep ourselves busy with other things, just because a person does not have kids does not mean they aren’t busy. I know plenty of parents who actually have more free time than I do.
Love this comment!
The main thing that strikes me about this article is the condescending tone of it “well I know better, you will too someday”. Seriously – ask yourself if you enjoy being on the receiving end of that kind of thing?
We are all different/have different experiences. Having children does not make one all knowing.
I have been on the receiving end of some extremely insensitive and hurtful comments from people with children. From assumptions about my fertility, to unwanted advice and yes, unfortunately condescension and misguided judgements.
I have a puppy and honestly – I don’t want to compare having a dog to having a child, but I don’t even feel comfortable to talk about my dog with friends with kids for fear they will take it the wrong way. It’s a part of my life I enjoy and would like to share. It’s a real shame that comparisons need to be drawn. I love hearing about my friends’ kids. I want to share the stuff in my life too – including my job, family, step kids and dog. Is it really necessary to compete over which or what is more valid?
So I agree with not comparing children to animals and not passing judgement on how to raise children – the theory will always be different to real life. However, one thing really irritated me about this post is the ‘you think you have it bad’ attitude and the need to ‘educate’ us childless people who have it so easy. Why don’t you just not bother? Because your smugness is incredibly irritating and in today’s society where at a certain age we childless ones are the minority, it gets a bit much.
What you’re saying is that anyone who doesn’t have a kid NEVER has the right to say they are tired or busy or broke? Do you realise how crazy that sounds? Shall we just all become mute because it seems that we are not allowed to indulge in basic human experiences. Of course you have a different life when you have kids, that’s not rocket science and I’m pretty sure that most people without kids get how exhausting it is, it’s self evident.
No, we don’t truly understand, but that’s human nature. No one really understands anything unless we’ve lived it ourselves and likewise parents with kids don’t understand things from our perspective either. Do you think we want to receive endless images of your child doing the most mundane things? Do you think you would have enjoyed that pre children? Newsflash, the only people who think your children are the most fascinating beings in the world are you, no one else wants to see them eat a doughnut, pick their nose, crying. The other mothers will tolerate it because they can show you their mind numbing photos in return, we have to just nod and smile. Before you had children, you would have found the topics that are now common place and acceptable at work, with friends, everywhere, tedious beyond belief. Sleep patterns of your children, their poo, their colds, nursery, good schools in the area.
How about the line ‘I know everyone says that about their kids but mine really is more intelligent’. Really? I know you’re proud but we’ve heard it so many times. If 99% of children are advanced for their age, it doesn’t really work does it? Again, we humour you.
And maybe those people who say they are tired or broke would just like to talk about themselves for a change instead of hearing about your cutie pie? When the conversation is one sided and you are just getting talked at, it’s not a particularly enriching experience. Life is hard and we all struggle. People without children have as much right to express this as you do.
Thanks for commenting. It’s interesting that you found this post after searching for, “my friends with kids have become annoying”
Judging by the time you put into writing this, you have a lot to say…Much more than the original post. Let me know if you’d like me to publish a rebuttal.
Great article!
I have a friend who actually told me that since she had always stayed with children, she actually knows what it means. Yeah, sure!!!
She also always makes some hints like: ”I would never ever let my child do that”, yeah sister, sure, we’ll meet again when you’ll have a child!!!
The funniest thing she told me was (when she was searching for an apartment to buy and planning kids): ”it does not matter having stairs, they will just get used to them and not fall!”
Again sister, let’s talk about it when you’ll have kids!
Regarding the angry comments about how annoying we moms are, you guys are also pretty annoying, especially when you look at us letting our children do something and you have in your look that specific disappointment. We know what you think, we know it because we were there once and please believe us when we say: ”once you have kids, all your rules you thought so much about, need to go in the trash, because kids are no robot, kids have their own character and they need different educating approaches.
(if I did some mistake in the language, please excuse me, but english is not my mother tongue!)
Your language is great! Thanks for commenting… I use that statement all the time: I’ve been both childless and a mom, so I have both perspectives!
YES. to everything in this article.
We had a dog long before, while one can argue that how you love and care for your pets is similar to the love you possess for your children, it’s not quite the same as being the guardian of your own species. Understandably, you may consider your loyal companions to be part of the family, however, the responsibilities, time, and effort needed to raise animals as opposed to people is nowhere along the same lines.